self doubt

Good Afternoon! or Good Morning! Wherever this may find you.

I really wanted to share with you about how I manage self doubt, and insecurities. I think this is something important to talk about, and I wish that I had learned this much earlier in my life.

I remember growing up, hearing the phrase, “Just be yourself. Thats all that matters.”

I never really understood what that meant, and as I was raised in a Christian home, I always thought about this in a Christian way, which is “Well, I am made in the image of Jesus, so whats Jesus like, how can I be more like him?” (Which is really awesome, and wonderful cause Jesus is amazing, but of course we can never be perfect and do everything right like Him. This is a whole ‘nother topic that I’m not gonna get into right now, cause this is not the point I want to make haha)

So anyway, thats how I thought of it, and I was missing the other side. And, what I believe to be the other side of it, is that NO MATTER WHAT YOU CHOOSE IN YOUR LIFE, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE CRITICS.

Because, I was so severely afraid of the critics, I became a “fence sitter” for a VERY long time. This fence sitting wasn’t just about minor topics, but about major life decisions. I would waffle around on my decisions, and constantly ask various people for their opinions, and then I would choose the “thing” that most people were happy with rather than choose something that I am truly happy with and enjoy to do.

It became about people pleasing, and less about living.

As soon as I realized this, I had to start living intentionally. It was a painful process, that hurt not only me, but also other people.

It is still a constant battle today. I am a self doubter, and often am insecure about my decisions. I still seek feedback from others, but I make sure that the feedback I receive are from people who know me well, and who appreciate me no matter what I choose to do.

And well, as the saying goes, “Haters are gonna hate” (haha). I hate that phrase but its true.

I have to constantly remind myself that, no matter what I choose to do, someone is always going to disagree, or not like it. And thats okay. Repeat after me, “Thats okay.”.

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